Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
do herpes really smell.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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