I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
