just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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