my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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