Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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