Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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