Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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