i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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