they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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