No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
