i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
