lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
