You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
