im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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