i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
