He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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