Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
