i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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