i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Fuck appropriateness.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
