I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
