it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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