Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
