I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
