im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
