How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
