People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize