He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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