"it" just moved
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize