...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
