I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
