i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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