Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
