Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
