Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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