so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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