puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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