just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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