im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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