So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
