If i could tip my vagina, i would.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
