No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
