Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
