I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
