I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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