After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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