is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
