road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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