If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize