On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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