but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize