Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i now understand why vodka
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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