I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
