your thong is hanging out like whoa
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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