Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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