I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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