It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hippo gnu deer
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
