Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
