HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
