i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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