i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
