I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
