Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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