I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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