that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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