were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
