I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
