I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
