I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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